my dilemma

Helo,

I don't know how to write this but I need to write it coz it's about something that I never realize until this few weeks.

Actually it happen like this,  a few months ago I were given assignment by my lecture for public speaking. We were ask to choose a topic and do outline. Which is I choose a topic about dyslexia, at first I really don't even understand what is dyslexia until I did few research about it and kind shock me coz I just realize that I did have some of this symptom. So I decide to do a few online test and it is really surprise me coz all the test I do show the result that I do have dyslexia but some of it say moderate and another say strong.

When I recall back some of my memories I just realize that there was a time I really have hard time on how to spell certain words and always got scold by my teachers and my worst subject is math. Two teacher suffer because of me (kindergarten and grade 3 ) and I kind also suffer from beating by male teacher coz he think I'm so stupid. This make me paranoid to go to school  until my mom decide to teach me at home (I still go to school and I don't think my mom and my family know about dyslexia that time and now). 

Starts from that I begin to learn many thing from my mom and I work harder to change what my teachers think about me that time and I did it (In test or exam I always get number 5 and some 2 place). But everything change when I go to high school coz this time my mother can't help me so I try my best as I can still I get beaten by other student and always get 5 lowest or weak students. That time I start feel hate to school again  until I get myself into uniformed marching units. I really like it and sometime I use uniformed marching units practice as an excuse to not want study.

But I know my duty as a child so I try study the subject that were teaching at school especially math, add math,science, physic, chemistry and engineering even though I falling behind in lessons but I not give up. Finally, 5 year studies I manage to finish the school although not as best student but I happy. then, I continue my study in pra diploma and next do diploma. Now I here doing degree and in few day I'm going to graduated as diploma student. I really hope that I can finish my degree too just like my sister and I want to be like her who is brave and be normal.

That all I want to write now, I guess I will write again after my convocation this Saturday. Pray that I not make fun with myself with  high heel.

(I still have trouble with ugly writing, memorize, calculation and I really don't know how to differentiated left and right.......)